Well hi, welcome back!
Last time we hung out, we talked about how thus far one of the biggest struggles in this game is not falling for what's 'easy'.
Now, onto another one of my biggest lessons learned.
Resilience is one of my favorite words.
My favorite traits.
And just recently, has become one of my favorite things to talk about because I know now, how important it is.
It's become almost like a motto.
And I'll tell you why.
This journey I'm on has lasted years. Since 2017. Without making hardly anything online. I think perhaps about $800ish dollars...that whole time.
Now I know it for some, it takes longer.
You see 3 years and brush it under the rug, thinking to yourself, 'it took me decades to find success'.
I don't yet understand what you're going through, but I want to share how I see it.
So far, what I've experienced is a never ending path of roadblocks, obstacles, and setbacks.
Yet, I still persist.
I still try new things and have ideas and dreams, and have yet to give up...completely.
But that didn't come over night. It's taken those 3 years to experience the setbacks, allow them to affect me, take as long as I took to rebound, and start again.
Resilience isn't a 'born with' trait. I don't think anyway.
It's something that is developed, experienced, and personally learned overtime.
Like any form of strength.
And whilst how you look at those 'setbacks' is completely up to you, how you decide to respond to them might just be the shining light of hope that takes you to the finish line.
Thus, SO far...my top 11 ways to become a master of resiliency.
Always keep your eye on your big why. If you've ever heard Simon Sinek's 'Know Your Why', they you know what I mean. You might not know what you want to do, what you should do, or even what your passion is. But for me, there was always this 'bigger thing'..a mission or a dream. While I wasn't always working towards this on the daily, the things I was doing on the daily was (well I thought it was) putting me one step closer to that somehow. This why, this passion, is the kind that no matter how hard things get, how stressful it is, how discouraged you become, how hopeless it seems, that all of that fades away when you hold this future you and this future dream in your mind.
Remember that all no's are closer to yes's. Many times I was hesitant to keep at something, or even start it, because I had a feeling the opposition was inevitable. That the ask, offer, or idea was going to immediately warrant a 'no'. And if you look at salespeople, they're probably some of the most resilient people because of all of the 'no's' they receive. So I hold their old adage of 'every no is closer to a yes' to heart...because it's true. You're going to have to run through a lot of no's to get to yes's..but remember, not everyone will say yes at first, just like not everyone will say no. You will eventually hit that golden acceptance, and sometimes, one is all you need. Brush them off and keep going.
When someone is a dick...realize that's only 1 person's opinion. Not too long ago I was lucky enough to score a chat with a lady I idolized. She was into health, wellness, a doctor, a successful speaker...and whilst I had an idea I wanted to see if she was interested in co-piloting, I could've never prepared myself for what actually happened. Spare you the details (that I'll make another post) essentially she took the entire time to berate me and put me down and do her best to mention how lost I was and how much I needed help...she was too good for this conversation. Yes, I let it get to me for a few minutes..but as I had another call right after hers, I needed to pull myself together fast. Later that day when I was reflecting on that situation (and trust me I've reflected a lot since them) it made me realize...who was she in the grand scheme of my life? Sometimes you'll run into people who feel so little of themselves they take pride in bringing others down. Or perhaps they don't believe in you, your idea or think they're too good to waste their time on you. This WILL happen. But the more you realize that there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and this person ( no matter who it is ) is just one of them, and what they think really doesn't mean anything. Just like #2, learn to brush it off, and keep going.
Be prepared for the 'hard'. And you know what...I was not. I was searching for ease, because I was fooled by the media into thinking it WOULD be easy. And that's one of my biggest mistakes. Though overtime.. when I began to realize just how difficult things were going to be, and how much longer they were going to take...I began realizing that I needed to change my perception..I needed to be ready for things to be difficult. Because if I expected ease, and they were hard, I'd quit. Though if I expected hardship, and it was hard..I was prepared. This resilience tip takes time, though it's one of my greatest mindsets.
Reframe your ideas of 'failure'. You've heard this, 'there's no such thing as failures, only learning experiences'. Well..essentially that's true. What you feel are failures, aren't that, they just are opportunities to learn from what was done incorrectly, and readjust or course correct. The only way you can go wrong here, is if you don't learn from your mistakes. And you repeat them again and again. Like when I failed at, and learned from some of my first endeavors because I wasn't' clear as to what I was doing nor did I have a foundation..I moved onto other endeavors carrying with me those same mistakes. I'm just now learning to reevaluate every time I begin something new, whether or not I have a solid foundation, and if I'm doing it for the right reasons. My 'failures' are opportunities for me to grow and become resilient in the face of things not happening the way I wanted.
Practice meditation and gratefulness daily. I used to think this was bogus. Until I realized that I had so many thoughts running through my head on a daily, that my head was congested with fog, ideas, conversations, media, news, so many things that take up space for better use. You need ways to quickly wipe your slate clean (clear your mind) so you can be refreshed and ready to move on with a open mind. It allows thoughts to flow freely, and stress and anxiety to fall away. Doing this on a daily, when needed, in the morning..even a few minutes at a time..can do just that. It helps centers me, calm me, and keep me ready to push forward with a renewed sense of mental resiliency.
Prioritize your physical & mental health. As much as we want to deny it, this is a crucial part of success, doing anything difficult, sustaining through any endeavors. Your health. Even the strongest of drives and determination can't outperform a faulty physiology. You can work, hope, dream, create ideas all you want, but if you don't have the energy to execute on them, nothing will come into fruition. And when things start to get tough and your mental health wanes, it's even more important to keep yourself healthy. It's one of the biggest reasons I cut out caffeine. My energy systems were off. Keeping hydrated, having a great sleep routine, limiting stress, exercising regularly, and eating a diet rich in brain health nutrients are crucial to keep your body in top shape to build immune resiliency, a healthy brain, and sustainable energy system.
Know things really don't actually happen 'overnight'. Preface...somethings do. Yes, someone can start a new business, sell a service, buy a company, become a coach..overnight. Their situations probably were different, however, there are some cases when things are able to be accomplished quite quickly. But...would these things be worth it to you? Are your big dreams, goals, and that why something that you feel you could create and perfect and be proud of overnight? Chances are, no. And I struggle here. I struggle to see that somethings I do or start aren't going to be a permanent career or something I will do for the long therm. They are just a stepping stone to prime me, and fund me..to my bigger picture. Even the smallest of seeds grow to the tallest and strongest of trees...good things takes time. Knowing this will drive resiliency for the long term.
Establish and keep a positive support network. This is pretty much crucial. I would absolutely not have made it through mentally...or at all, without someone there to support me. Someone to talk me off the edge of breakdown, to give me pep talks, motivate me, support me, encourage me, inspire me...believe in me. That and more goes to my boyfriend. Your support network could be friends, family, or a mastermind of other entrepreneurs or those in your industry. But he was and is my rock.
Know when to 'stick' and when to 'stop'. At first, I wanted to put "when to quit" but in the spirit of resiliency, changed the phrase yet the meaning is still the same. Though it may seem at odds with one another, I think one of the strongest marks of true resiliency, is knowing when to quit, and when to keep going. There are many things that may attach you to the think that you're attempting...like the sunk cost of it (you've put so much time into this thing, why waste that), or for me, it was the 'not again!' phrase that just kept coming to my mind. But adapting to change, and growing internally is a product of knowing and recognizing when to push harder, and when you're actually on the wrong path.If you keep pushing on something that doesn't match your want, or your spirit, then you'll be wasting the remainder of your resources pursuing endeavors that will end up not working out anyway..instead of using those resources towards other actions that might take you closer to where you want to be. This article from Foundr is my favorite further explanation (#4).
And my personal favorite...embrace the daily struggles. I know I talked earlier about preparing for hard. But, when your path isn't clear, or you're just getting started..even if you're far on your journey, you might not be clear about what to do on a daily basis to take that next step further. And waking up not knowing that alone, can bring much stress and anxiety automatically. And if you let that get to you everyday, you'll procrastinate, you'll let fear and doubt get in the way of taking any action at all. And get no where. Not everyday is perfect, nor will they be. And you can't expect them to. There will be days with very small wins, even no wins at all. Embracing and LEARNING from each and everyone of these happenings and these days will build your mental strength and your resiliency like no other. You'll be ready to take on whatever life brings you day in and day out, face it, and move forward.
So I'm hoping the next time you come up against a brick wall of opposition, perhaps one of these suggestions will help you bust right through it.
Again, until next time <3